The Cost of Following Your Heart
Updated: Mar 14, 2019
I was expecting a package today...new art supplies! It was supposed to arrive by day's end but I thought I would check the porch in case it arrived early. I had just come in from floating in my exotic backyard pool...you know, that 6'X18" kiddie pool decked out in dinosaurs. My skin was all cozy warm from soaking up the best kind of vitamin D, towel wrapped and content. I opened the front door and the package was waiting! 1-800flowers. Must be a mistake.
It's been a great summer but also challenging. I started my own business about a year ago. I threw caution to the wind, quit my reliable income job as a school counselor, and chose to follow my heart. It has been exhilarating. Liberating. Terrifying. Life changing. Heart swelling. Exhausting. And I have loved EVERY second of it. Cash flow with a new business can be tricky. The last couple of months, my new business wasn't quite making ends meet, and even though I knew I was doing the next right thing, bills weren't getting paid. I cried out to God, Source, the Universe...and the answer came within a few days. My former principal contacted me to let me know he had an unexpected opening. To teach art. I had quit my job after working thru a divorce, single motherhood, grad school, and internships. This time of building my business during a season of solitude has been healing...a warm fuzzy cocoon of self care and boundaries. The thought of giving up that safe place was hard to take, but reality set in and I needed to be responsible. And most importantly, I needed to answer this call from the Universe.
Last week I got a call from a credit card company wanting to set up my next payment. I explained my cashflow situation and the woman that was on the call congratulated me for following my heart and starting my business. The compassion brought me to tears...it was so heartfelt and unexpected, especially from a credit card company. As we hung up, I thanked the Universe for the comfort, love and compassion that was sent my way. So grateful.
The package waiting on the porch was warm and had probably been in the west Texas heat for at least a few hours. I didn't know what to expect. My heart was racing as I sliced through the packing tape. Inside was a dozen roses, a congratulations balloon, and a teddy bear. Right inside the lid was "A Message for You" pocket. Inside the pocket, a note read, "Congratulations on your new business! Best of luck as you start this new chapter! Sincerely, Michelle, Capital One." That, my friends, is kindness. Compassion. Empathy. That is what the world needs more of. Sure, you can say it's marketing. It is. But it touched my heart and made me grateful for the humanity extended to me, and reminded me to be equally mindful and compassionate to my fellow humans. But there's more. You see, my very first teaching job was at this same school to which I will be returning. That first job was as an art teacher. I started that job when my little boy started kindergarten just steps away from my first classroom. I will never forget that day. His first day of kindergarten drop-off was seamless except for his momma bawling after leaving him in his Kindergarten classroom. What got me through that drop off was thinking, if I can send my little boy to kindergarten, I can handle 30 8th grade boys in art class. And I did.
My sweet boy had a favorite teddy bear he took to school for show and tell one school day that fall. Before he left his classroom he tucked Teddy under the backpack strap across his chest. When he walked into my classroom, he took off his backpack and realized his teddy bear was gone. We immediately backtracked but Teddy was no where to be found. We made "missing" posters. We missed Teddy so much! Teddy was a topic of conversation during tough times and sleepless nights. And so, today when I opened the box of flowers, there was a teddy bear. A teddy bear that felt and looked just like our lost Teddy. And the tag on him said, "Meet G". G is the first initial of my son's name. I was overwhelmed with the beauty of this synchronicity and gratefulness of such a personal gift, straight from Source. You see, not only did I receive flowers today, I received a nod from the Universe telling me I'm right where i should be, doing right what I should be, and my big little boy got a hug and a nod as well. Teddy came home. We have come full circle. Had I not followed my heart, we wouldn't have reconnected with Teddy or experienced the joy of everything that is a result of listening and acting. And my big little boy who is 20 now, was so warmed seeing this Teddy. My momma heart melted.
My heart. It IS. It is STRONG. It is REAL. It is HONEST. It is the only way it knows to be. It is KristyJane and KristyJane is still going strong and will continue to offer a safe place to create, connect, and play. In the meantime, teaching art back at school will give my heart's desire some financial support. And I get to share my creative passion while loving on kids.
Love. Teddy. Art.